What to Do If Someone Is Self-Harming (UK Guide)

If someone is in immediate danger, has seriously injured themselves, has taken an overdose or you believe there is an urgent risk to life, call 999 or go to A&E.

If someone is struggling but not in immediate danger, encourage them to contact their GP, NHS 111, a local mental health crisis line or a trusted professional. In the UK and Ireland, Samaritans can be contacted free on 116 123 at any time.

If someone is self-harming, stay calm, listen without judgement, take them seriously, encourage professional support and do not promise to keep serious risk secret. If there is immediate danger, seek emergency help. Your role is to support and signpost, not to diagnose, investigate or provide therapy.

Self-harm is when someone intentionally hurts themselves as a way of coping with emotional distress, overwhelming feelings, painful memories or difficult situations. It can take different forms and may not always be obvious to others.

Self-harm is not simply “attention seeking”. It is often a sign that someone is struggling and needs support. People may self-harm because they feel overwhelmed, numb, guilty, anxious, angry, trapped or unable to express what they are feeling.

Every situation is different, so you should respond with care rather than assumptions.

Signs can vary and not everyone will show visible signs. Some possible indicators include:

• Unexplained cuts, burns, bruises or injuries
• Wearing long sleeves in warm weather
• Becoming withdrawn or isolated
• Avoiding activities where injuries might be noticed
• Sudden mood changes
• Talking about feeling hopeless or worthless
• Keeping sharp objects hidden
• Changes in sleep, appetite or behaviour
• Increased secrecy or distress

These signs do not prove someone is self-harming, but they may suggest a need for a careful and supportive conversation.

If you are wondering how to help someone who is self-harming, begin by creating a calm and safe conversation.

Some responses can increase shame or make someone less likely to ask for help.

Avoid:

• Telling them to “just stop”
• Calling them dramatic or attention seeking
• Reacting with anger or disgust
• Making them show injuries
• Asking for graphic details
• Taking control without listening
• Promising complete secrecy
• Trying to become their therapist

The aim is to reduce shame and support safe next steps.

Self-harm does not always mean someone wants to die, but it can be linked to increased risk. You should take signs of suicidal thoughts seriously.

Warning signs may include:

• Talking about wanting to die
• Feeling hopeless or trapped
• Saying others would be better off without them
• Giving away possessions
• Saying goodbye
• Searching for ways to harm themselves
• Increased risk-taking
• Sudden calmness after severe distress

If you believe there is immediate risk, do not leave the person alone if it is safe to stay with them. Seek emergency help.

If the person self-harming is a child or young person, safeguarding is especially important. Parents, carers, teachers, youth workers and support staff should follow safeguarding procedures and involve appropriate professionals.

It is not your responsibility to manage serious risk alone. A young person may feel worried about adults finding out, but safety must come first. Support should be compassionate, not punitive.

Yes. Self-harm and suicide awareness training can help people understand risk, communication, safeguarding and appropriate support pathways.

At Free Courses in England, we connect eligible learners with government-funded online Level 2 courses designed to improve knowledge and confidence.

Learners interested in wider mental health knowledge may also explore the Awareness of Mental Health Problems course.

This training may be suitable for:

• Parents and carers
• Teachers and teaching assistants
• Youth workers
• Care workers
• Support workers
• Workplace wellbeing champions
• Managers
• People supporting friends or family members
• Learners interested in mental health support roles

For immediate danger, call 999 or go to A&E. For urgent but non-life-threatening advice, use NHS 111. Samaritans are available free on 116 123. If the person is a child or young person, contact the appropriate safeguarding lead, GP, school, college or local support service.

If someone is self-harming, respond calmly, listen without judgement, take the situation seriously and encourage professional support. You do not need to have all the answers. Your role is to help them feel less alone and connect them with appropriate help.

Even when the topic is personal or sensitive, relevant training can still support professional development. If you are applying for support worker, care worker, youth worker, teaching assistant, wellbeing champion or mental health support role, your CV should show that you understand responsibility, boundaries, safeguarding and appropriate signposting.

Useful CV points may include:

• Awareness of safeguarding and duty of care
• Calm and respectful communication
• Experience supporting vulnerable people
• Understanding of professional boundaries
• Ability to follow policies and procedures
• Confidence recognising when to escalate concerns

Avoid presenting yourself as a therapist or clinical expert unless you are professionally qualified to do so. The aim is to show that you can support people safely, recognise risk and involve the right services when needed.

Interviewers may ask how you would respond to a difficult or sensitive situation. They are usually looking for a calm, safe and responsible answer rather than a dramatic one.

You may be asked about confidentiality, safeguarding, conflict, emotional distress or when you would report a concern. Strong answers usually show that you would listen without judgement, follow workplace procedures, keep accurate records where appropriate and involve a manager, safeguarding lead, HR team, GP, emergency service or specialist support route when needed.

It is also helpful to explain your limits. In support roles, knowing what you should not do is just as important as knowing what you should do.

The first step into self-harm and suicide awareness does not need to be perfect. What matters is taking practical action, building relevant knowledge and showing that you are ready to learn.